Ch-ch-ch-changes..

So much has changed since the last time I wrote on here that I don't even know where to begin.

It has been a whirlwind type of year and I am still having a hard time wrapping my head around everything. Last time I wrote I had just taken the GRE and decided that a history PhD program probably wasn't in my best interest. None of that has changed - everything else? Yep.

Spring semester at U.A.B. proved to be my most difficult term yet. The classes were challenging and a number of outside issues prevented me from doing as well as I should. Around the midpoint of the semester the law firm I worked for announced a merger with a larger firm out of New Orleans. The exact day of the merger? The Saturday before finals week. Getting our systems working together and meeting with the new group took up a lot of my time that should have been used for studying. I ended up with 2 B's and 1 A for the term - still over a 3.0 but my worst term here since I started.

In spite of all of the time I spent on the merger, as soon as it was finished I was let go. Not overly surprising since they never would give me a job description but very disappointing in that they did not even see if they could find a spot for me. So like 10% of the U.S. workforce - I was out of work.

The good news to help offset this was at the same time I was meeting with several professors that run different Engineering PhD programs at U.A.B. Shortly after one of these meetings I received a letter from the school letting me know I had been accepted into the 'Interdisciplinary Engineering' PhD program. Sounds impressive right? My MBA GPA combined with my background and my GRE made me an ideal candidate for the program. Dr. Shih has an idea for me to create a computer program that will merge thousands of different MRI images into one 3-D "super image" that can be used for computerized testing and education. Very challenging project but also very interesting.

I started my final semester at U.A.B in August. Just two classes and one of them is an "online" computer course. For the most part the majority of my grades for these two courses will take the form of large group papers. Not exactly my strong point.

So here I am, it is the end of September, I finish the first part of my journey in about 8 weeks and graduate with a Masters degree that I never thought I would get. I am still unemployed and I am having to think seriously that I will not get a chance to begin the PhD. program I have been accepted to. No one in Birmingham is hiring, the PhD does not pay for the first 2 years and there is no way I can envision staying here unless something drastic changes.

So the road in front of me is just as cloudy as ever. Some bright spots? I have a wife and son who love me, I will soon have a M.B.A., I have a kick butt GRE score. With these I can do just about anything. I just have to find the job that will support us, and then find the school that calls to me and begin the next step in the journey.

Wha?!?! What Happened? Where Am I?

Have you ever been so sure about something you can almost see it happening? So sure you have figured out the endgame that you begin to miss plot points showing you an alternate ending possibility. Well it happened to me. I am going head over heels looking at different education options for a history degree. Checking out schools, tracking down alumni, reading up on alternatives.

And here is where the left turn comes in. I was doing all of this, thinking through how this would work out, actually seeing myself as a history teacher. I had this ALL figured out, then this little voice in my head started whispering. Call my crazy but I actually thought about it for a bit and began to listen. That little voice was telling me to rethink my decision. So I did. I started looking at why I was doing certain things, why I was looking to throw away all my education up until now and why I was going down this path. I did some soul searching and really looked at what the coursework for the history program would be, how I would be judged, how I would be able to use the degree(s) once I finished.

I feel that the way my brain works - I am much happier getting an answer to something. I want to work on something until I get an answer. Despite having this ..thing.. to write my feelings on I hate writing for others. The classes I have always hated are ones where my grades were subjectively determined based on how well I could write. So here I am math=good, writing=bad and I am looking at a degree where 90+% of my grade would be determined by essays I write? What am I nuts? So...I have rethought all of that and decided to pursue history, but on the side and for me not as part of some grand plan to become a history professor.

This does not mean I want to stop pursuing teaching as a career option, just that I will not be doing it in history. Instead, I have decided to apply for a doctorate program in Computer Engineering from U.A.B. I spoke with the head of the program and he seems to think I am a good match for the program. I am worried about my undergraduate GPA but hopefully I can overcome that.

Oh yeah, I took the GRE yesterday. I probably should have studied more but it is hard to do that with all the other things going on in my life. The PhD program has minimums of 550 in both verbal and math, I tested at 570 verbal and 740 math - see I told you I liked math better. Between the test scores and the MBA's GPA hopefully I can relieve some anxiety the powers that be might have about my ability to perform in their program.

I hope so cause I really don't want to keep waffling on this.

First Big Step

Well now I have done it. I signed up to take the GRE so I can move forward with this crazy, mixed up dream of mine. I have changed school ideas so often I can not say for sure where I want to go, but regardless of school, the GRE is the necessary first step.

I need to score over a 1000 on the test to show the schools I am serious and can do the work, so that hopefully they will overlook little things like "required undergraduate GPA" or "number of hours of undergraduate history". Small things like that.

Anyway, the test is next weekend, just 3 days before my 40th birthday. I will send the scores to Sam Houston, U.A.B. and Austin Peay just to be on the safe side. I would love to include Georgia Southern on that list but I have not heard back from the director of their program so I am not sure they still have the online degree option.

As far as the M.B.A. goes, I started back to class last Wednesday. Once again three classes over two days, but this is the last time - only two classes to go before I graduate. So far, top to bottom, I would say this is the best group of teachers I have had - usually I have one or two lemons in the group. This time they seem to be great. I don't agree with their style or the way they control the class, but none of them instill that instant sense that they are in over their heads. I am taking an Economics class, a Finance class and finally a Marketing class. Guess it makes sense the closer you get to graduation, the better the professors get.

End of Term

Well it is the end of the fall term at U.A.B. and I am happy to see it end. This was by far my busiest semester and the first one that really made me wonder if I was overdoing it. It appears as though I will end up with another 3.66 GPA this term (2 A's and 1 B) bringing my GPA down again, this time to 3.83. Still better than any single quarter I had as an undergrad, much less any 2 years.

I wonder about the decisions I have been making lately. I know I want to study, I know I want to learn more about history, I am just worried about this path I have chosen. I am still working hard to get into Sam Houston State for their military history program but ... It is hard to explain, but for starters I wonder if I will ever have enough time to actually use the degree. Sam Houston recommends only taking 1 class per term, which means the degree would take 5 years to finish, and that is just the Masters. I can't imagine being in school for another 10-12 years just to get the degrees in order so I can start teaching. That just seems insane. So I have to start thinking that if I get these degrees then they are for me, not for some pie in the sky teaching dream, but because I simply want to learn it. If the teaching happens then great but that can not be the 'end all be all' of the discussion.

Anyway, I'm taking the time between semesters to study for the GRE, as well as catch up on some "pleasure" reading. I have been reading several books on the GRE and honestly don't think it will be that hard. Since I have been in school I believe my math skills as well as my writing ability have both been "refreshed". I find that I am remembering things I had forgotten due to disuse.

As far as the reading goes, is the thing I miss most during the school term - reading a book simply because I want to read it. I can sometimes squeeze an easy book in here and there but I can never count on that ability.

Of course my idea of pleasure reading doesn't usually match other peoples'. Last night I started reading "An Army At Dawn" by Rick Atkinson. It is an acclaimed book on the North Africa campaign of World War II. Everyone has their favorite campaigns in a war and this is one of mine, I have liked it ever since I was a kid watching reruns of the old TV show "The Rat Patrol". I mean the names Rommel, Patton, Montgomery are a who's who of World War II generals and they all cut their teeth in North Africa. You have Montgomery in the East, Patton in the West and between them Rommel's Afrika Korps. Beleaguered Brits versus unstoppable Nazis, with untested Americans entering the War for the first time.

Options

Well I have spent the last few days checking out the history programs available at several schools as I look for a better option than the one offered by Norwich University. Currently I have received information from 3 schools and still have one information request outstanding. Here is how the ones who have responded stack up...

1. University of Alabama - Birmingham campus

Pros - Local school, already familiar since I am getting my M.B.A. there, classes available after hours so I can actually attend classes, affordable tuition

Cons - No military history specialty, would only be able to take 6 credit hours per term

2. Austin Peay - Clarksville, Tennessee

Pros - Military history program available, affordable tuition, seem to be understanding about my undergraduate GPA

Cons - Program appears to be an essay course, not a widely known program

3. Sam Houston State - Huntsville, Texas

Pros - Military history program available, charged as "in state" for tuition, respected program - several graduates in PhD programs

Cons - Haven't really found any

I am still a little wary of online programs - they are so new and you have to worry about any perception problems in the academic community. The good news is that all of the programs that I have looked at that offer the degrees online do not make any reference to how you attended. That is your transcripts and diploma show that you attended the school, not some "online" portion of the school. For this reason I did not count it as a pro or a con for any of the schools.

If you can't tell, at this time I am leaning towards trying to get into Sam Houston State. The program looks difficult but rewarding and even though it is online, there seems to be a good bit of interaction with the professors.

One thing this change is going to mean is that I have to break out the books and start studying for the GRE again. Since Norwich did not require the test I had stopped studying the material back in June. Honestly, that was one of the first red flags that went off about Norwich - it told me they were willing to let anyone in the program and really just wanted the money. Anyway, I am hopeful that I can study after this semester, during Christmas break, and then take the test in early January of next year. SHSU has a requirement of a 1000 on the GRE and since I will already be under the requirements for number of history courses and undergraduate GPA I had better do well on the GRE. Hopefully, between that, a writing sample and my references they will decide to let me in, even if it probationary.

Changes? Wow that was quick

When I started writing this blog back in July, one of my stated goals, #2 in fact, was to get accepted to Norwich University and complete their MMH program. Well...there goes THAT one. After talking to several other history buffs, as well as doing some more research, I just can not justify the decision. The school seems to have a great history program, but three troubling facts have come out to make me rethink my analysis.

1. Cost - From what I can tell, Norwich is 2 to 3 times more expensive than other online history programs. I am not made of money and can not see how the quality will be THAT much better at Norwich
2. Structure - The more I thought about it the more I began to realize the big problem with Norwichs' 'survey' course structure. While having a 50,000 foot viewpoint of history is necessary, being able to zoom in on those areas that appeal to you is also necessary if you want to be truly happy with the program
3. Lack of visible alumni - Several bloggers with much larger audiences than I have questioned the Norwich MMH program, looking for more information. None of them have been able to find more than 1 alumnus willing to discuss the program. For a degree that has been offered for several years this is not acceptable.

So what does this mean? It means I have contacted several other schools about their programs. I have every intention of getting my history degree. A PhD is still my goal. It just looks like I will be having a different school help me reach it. Hopefully as I get some more information from the schools I will post Pros and Cons from each.

Something to think about

I have made no secret of the fact that this site is all about my travels towards getting a firmer understanding of history in general, Military history in specific. Lately though I have had some misgivings about my decision to go with Norwich University. I just can not find credible, independent information about the quality of their program or chances for further education after I receive the degree. The last thing I want is to spend that money and be laughed out of the building when I present it as proof that I am serious. In addition, I am also worried that there seems to be very little opportunity for specialization inside the program. While most people would feel that "Military History" is a specialization, the fact is that we have been fighting wars for millennia and that is a lot of ground to try and cover.

Anyway, I spent several hours today going over online blogs of other historians facing the same decisions and choices I am as well as historical society pages and very few of them "like" Norwich. Like the other historians I want to earn my degree, I want to learn, I want to do so many things, however one thing I do not want to do right now is move. While I could attend U.A.B. or even the University of Alabama for the degree, both would require me to quit my current job to attend classes during the day and that is also something I do not believe I can do. That leaves online programs. One site did list a college I had not previously looked at - Georgia Southern. I went ahead and contacted them for more information.

Not sure what the final decision is going to be now, I am really almost back at step 1.